Philia: A Variant Worth Spreading

If you are experiencing at least 5 of the "symptoms" listed below, there is a very good chance you have contracted a virus associated with the survival of fragile democracies. It is exponentially more infectious than Omicron, more powerful than Delta. Scientists have dubbed it “Philia.” Early research indicates that Philia has no mass. It is pure energy. Consequently, none of the traditional mitigation strategies, including masks, distancing, vaccines or therapeutics are effective against the ethereal microbe. In fact, for the first time in recorded history, every infectious disease expert, from around the world, to a person, agrees that our only option is community spread!!! Patience Altruism Neighborliness Diffidence Empathy Mindfulness Inclusiveness Compassion

You see, as it turns out, we are all in this together after all. Here's hoping for not just a new, but a better year.